Extra Crud

A little over a week ago, at my little nephew's 4th birthday party, I unthinkingly sat across from one of my dearly loved nieces who had bronchitis. As I've mentioned before, I've had over half a dozen intensive rounds of Prednisone which weakens the immune system, so later, my mom pointed out that that had probably been a very bad idea for me and that she had tried to get me to sit somewhere else. Me, being a virtual mental incompetent with this disease, did not get the hint.

So, once I got to my mom's place, I thought it would be a great idea to gargle with Listerine, which I hadn't used in years. (I do occasionally use Scope.)

Badder idea.

I quickly swished a bit in my mouth and spit it out, and took a bit more in my mouth. In those 2 seconds, maybe, it was enough to cause my throat to slam shut and my head and chest to be filled with mucus. I had to spew it out of my mouth and ran to my purse, unable to speak or breathe, gesturing wildly to mom.

I was able to get some of my Albuterol inhaler in me enough to open my throat enough to swallow a couple of Benadryl between severe bouts of coughing. Eventually, I was able to get down a hydroxyzine (H1 inhibitor), a couple of ranitidine (H2 inhibitor), and a Phenavent (a molecular equivalent of epinephrine and ephedrine).

I had no Epi-pen as I haven't yet been able to swing the $90 bucks for it, having no insurance.

After gagging and coughing and gasping and near vomiting for about 10 minutes, I coughed up/vomited up an entire handful of mucus.

AN ENTIRE HANDFUL!! I swear, it was about 3/4 of a cup! It was the most revolting experience in my life, that I can recall.

I don't know if this was anaphalaxis or not, but I seriously thought I was going to die for about 10 or 15 minutes.

Gradually, my system calmed down, but for several days I was a good bit sicker than usual, especially wracked by the physical pain and exhaustion.

Now, I am apparently suffering from a cold on top of the general misery I live with daily. About two days ago, my head became stopped up non-stop, despite my usual use of the nasal spray which is the only remedy that allows me to breathe between blowing my nose, which is a constant. My doctor says to just keep using it since it's the only thing that helps. I mean, when you're shoveling in antihistamines like Allegra, and hydroxyzine, (and whatever else is available sometimes) and your nose still won't quit running and you still can't inhale through your nose, you do whatever works.

So, last night I started back on the Phenavent regularly which I've been hoarding for use during my worst times. It's helping with the congestion which is now filling my chest, also. The sneezing, coughing, watery eyes, and back and chest pain I'm just living through. The usual myalgia is kicking up a little more strangely than usual. The Relafen is helping, then not, then is. What the hell.

It's a little hard to tell where the virus picks up and the masto leaves off.

Bad News

Good times are over, had an allergic reaction today, so a new episode begins, no doubt.

Aetna has refused to extend my insurance benefits. They say there is no evidence that I cannot work, despite the fact that my doctor is certain that I cannot and filled out the paperwork appropriately.

I cannot work. I barely live.

My job was a Technical Business Analyst. I was responsible for compiling huge amounts of data, sifting through it and writing up specifications for complex computer programs.

You can read what I've written and see that I can't think well enough to do work like that anymore. I used to type perfectly. I was an amateur writer with perfect spelling and grammer and a real way with words. Now, I drop words, I transpose words, I use similar words to those I mean to use. I can barely type a sentence without pausing over and again to try to think of what it is that I am writing, search my memory for ordinary words, etc. I can't even put together a grocery list, let alone write complex specifications. It's pointless to try to proofread. I won't catche the errors.

I have to stay cooped up in my house in an attempt to avoid contact with anything that will cause an allergic reaction. I have had severe reactions to perfume, lotions, grass, insects, clothing dyes in new clothes, detergent, soap, various foods, leaves, dust, medicines, any type of exertion, sunlight, heat, cold. You name it. And the weirdest thing is that I will have a reaction to something, then not have an allergic reaction to the same thing, then have it again. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

I never know what I'll be allergic to. I have never even had a whelp from a mosquito bite, yet, during the summer nights, I mean months, I could step outside for a few minutes and come in with dozens of whelps from mosquitos I guess. Once, in fifteen minutes, I got over thirty whelps. I took four steps out into the grass once, and the foot which was injured received 23 bites from what must have been noseeum's. Tiny, invisible bugs. My foot was covered with sores for weeks and weeks. I still have the scars. That was in August. It's now November.

After any allergic reaction, even a single tiny bug bite or a whiff of perfume for days or weeks I will have an upset stomach. Nausea, diarhea, cramps. I get terribly congested in my head and in my lungs. I get extremely tired and achy. Generally, the full package deal.

I have had a few weeks of almost feeling normal this month, November. I felt pretty okay this afternoon, even though my mom said I didn't look as well as I have the last few weeks. I felt very fatigued but have come to think of that as normal, even though I've had more days of not feeling so tired lately. I went out to dinner with my mother today. I had shrimp cakes which I've had at least 3 times over the last 3 months with no reaction. I had an allergic reaction. My windpipe became constricted, my head filled with mucus, I could hardly talk. I had to use my asthma inhaler and down a H1 inhibitor, Allegra, and 150 milligrams of an H2, ranitidine, just to get to breathing without great labor. I can't afford the $72 Epi-pen, but if I'd had it, I may have used it.

Now, as I write, even after using Afrin, saline spray, and Nasalcrom repeatedly, I cannot breathe through my nose. My chest is very tight. I have a terrible stomach ache. I have diarhea and stomach cramps. I ache all over. I'm very tired but I can't lay down because it makes breathing even more difficult. My limbs feel like lead. I'm only typing to try to stay awake because I can't lay down.

I know I'll be sick for two weeks from this. When I say sick, I mean all of the above, all of the time.

Oh, plus teh itching! Ohmygosh, how could I neglect to mention the itching???!! It's almost second nature now I suppose. Except that the rashes that had begun to flare up badly again in the last few days despite applications of Vanos have now gone hog wild. And not just the rashes. I am itching in dozens of other places right now, all over my body. The itches jumps from here to there constantly. I have to grit my teeth and just try not to scratch because once I start, it starts to look like I'm doing the St. Vitus Dance, scratching wildly all over. So I grit my teeth and twitch instead.

That alone is extremely stressful. The itching is bad right now because of the attack, but it comes and goes all of the time regardless. I have fits of itching. It makes me extremely anxious. I have to take anxiety medication often just for that alone.

I just took a Prevacid, another 150 of ranitidine, a couple of extra strength Tylenol, and one of my last few Singulair. In a bit, I'm going to take one dose of my last four doses of Gastrocrom I've been hoarding.

I've been trying to substitute Nasalcrom for the Gastrocrom. It has the same dosage of cromolyn sodium as Gastrocrom. I has seemed to help, though not approaching the helpfulness of the Gastrocrom. It seems to help the headaches, some of the congestion, maybe the stomach aches but that might be stretching it a bit. The pharmacist said that it would be getting into my bloodstream, not as well as the oral Gastrocrom, but if I did feel some inprovement, it probably wasn't all in my head.

I've been hoarding the samples of Prevacid I've gotten from the doctor, too. It works best, but I can get by with over the counter Prilosec as long as I take it like clockwork and take the 300 milligrams of ranitidine a day.

I dole out the Atarax, too, and try to make do with over the counter when I can, or my little hoard of Allegra. Every H1 blocker sits on my like a ton of rocks though. I can't do anything, but maybe type stream of consciousness like this. If I lay down, I'll sleep for 12 hours straight, at least.

Now, do I sound like someone you would be able to hire to work full-time as a business analyst? Maid? Nanny? Secretary? Gardener? Come on. I'll probably have 3 weeks out of every six months when I'm able to actually get to work. Maybe half of the time I'll be able to get out of bed for 4 or 5 hours a day, maybe shower and dress every three days or so. Won't you hire me and pay me $40,000 a year?

Aetna thinks you will. Aetna sees no problem with me being able to work despite my doctor telling them in writing that there is no way in hell possible.

Full benefits? I only need about $30K worth of medicine a year, a bone marrow test, and medical care at the Mayo Clinic.

Guess I'd better delete that if Aetna finds out about this blog.