Whining again

Well, I wasn't posting because I was sick until I wasn't posting because I was feeling pretty good.

Unfortunately, one lingering side effect from going through a long phase of being sick to the point of taking to my bed at all hours around the clock is that my circadian rhythmn gets all screwed up for weeks on end afterward. I just haven't been sleeping at night, for the most part. Even when I take something, I cannot seem to get sleepy until the sun rises.

So, I end up sleeping most of the day, getting up in the late afternoon and by the time I'm well awake, the sun is setting. I simply cannot make myself do my household chores at night. I try, but end up doing little more than piddling around. Coming after a long spell of simply not being well enough to accomplish much, I end up with a very messy house, a ton of laundry, and badly in need of a dusting and vacuuming. The dust is a problem and starts to make me feel badly again, and I know that as soon as I do get the dusting and vacuuming done, it will stir up so badly that I'll end up being very sick again for at least 3 or 5 days, even though I take precautions like wearing a face mask and showering immediately afterwards.

It's a vicious cycle and it sucks. No one in my family is in a position where I would even consider asking for help. My mom is 82. My sis works full time and has a heart patient husband. My niece has two little boys, one 2 and one 4, and a career. It would be so much better if I did not live alone. I wish I'd managed to find a good man when I was in good shape as I can't imagine a guy wanting to take on such a pile of a ragheap at this point. Too bad that I'm neither of the inclination nor would it be legal to marry an actual maid!